dad (day90)

happy birthday dad!!!
and we talked on FB for the first time
was it special of was it awkward
i feel like for the first time i can say that things
will be normal.
am i stating fact or is it fiction
thats something i havent gotten an answer
so its up to the moons and stars to make the call
but if i get one then i can pretty much tell where we are
i can not navigate us cause im pretty much lost
cause nothing is certain and all of it seems like a lie

its not there its here! (day89)

so little time and yet we have so many
do we use it wisely or is it wasted
some say it isn't the delivery that makes the impact
but the thought of every word said
will it be as crushing as a bullet train
all i know is its 2am
and i seem to be awake
my thoughts have started to swirl around and i cant think straight
for a sign so obscene so unacceptable
is now planted in my brain
the only way it can go away is if we talk for a while...
not a minute cause this just cant wait...
(woke up randomly and decided to use the "internet machine" and this is what came out of me = lame)

dress rehersal? (day88)

is it needed
will i change
what will happen
and what will change
if it will then so be it
but what if nothing does
then it was all worth nothing

zachery in playland (day87)

the ups and downs
the twists and turns
roundabouts and spins
smiles and frowns
tears fears and screams
thousands of faces in so many places
i am lost
i can go anywhere i want to
but i choose to go here
will i hold back
or will i go all out
this isnt new but it is new
so many to pick in so little time
as i am visited by regrets
i make new ones
and will i regret them now
or regret the old ones
so here i go
its time for me to try this place out
its playland
you can do everything if you can
or nothing if you cant..

safe but not sound (day86)

as i am finally home i tell myself
"should i" "can i" and "i think i can"
so i go and a give it a shot
i find that life has many way of panning out
and as the course is tackled and the path paved
you find yourself in a myriad of crossings
many comings and goings and signs that remind you of many decisions made
as i made a decision today it turned out to be a wise one
as i went there in hoping and i came home yearning
for as i was a mere player when i arrived and i left a winner
noticed and recognized
even if i feel like im still under the weather the weather held up for me
and so did i
in some sense its great to be back home
but its fun to leave it all alone
for we just dont have eyes to stare and the same things
we dont have minds to see things repeatedly
so make everyday an adventure even if you cant go
cause you never know
you might discover something new something old or something that just makes you go "wow"

weather (day85)

i wake up and i feel something different
is it me or is it the weather
i feel funny and stare outside
it look like there seems to be something funny going on
i struggle and keep things together
i pull myself together and i walk on over
a foot seems like a mile
and ever step feels like im going to die
im so close but i keep falling down
i feel that the weather and me have coincided
for once my state is in something weird
like what it says in the weather network
i will soldier on but i just want to go home
so if the authorities allow me
then i will come home to bc where it is sunny
i need all the positive energy7 right now
even though im surrounded by a cloud of dought
so keep your head up high and soldier on little boy
cause it only takes one person to above and beyond and say
"hey im aiming for the gold"

new vigor (day 84)

something new something old
something nice has come out of me
its like a new high and im loving every bit of it
why am i so ridged can i be more coarse
i will see to it that i can set a balanced course
so today was another long one
i reached for the stars
and it grabbed me by the hand
i dreamed of the heavens
and the angels started singing to me
for i am a man with no vision for i only see one thing
it is pure in heart and true to me
something no man can ever see
its special in every way
and i hold it dear to me
so as i lay here exhausted and tired
i will wait for you into the dark
and btw the way
12:43am EST @ Toronto :)

pain (day 83)

when i do something
i see things through
i make sure i try my best
and I push it till i am done
i am disappointed
and i am hurt
but ive given it all ive got
when my body says i can go no more
i pull it aside and have a small talk
i stretch and see how far i go
and even when the pain is so sore
i still try to see things through
i struggle along cause i dont see why i should
for quitting is not in me
i want to finish
even though i know i will lose
for the true meaning of quitting is not giving it my all
so i will soldier on till i am no more
for i will live forever even though i am gone
cause i lived life to what i can push it
so i am satisfied
even though in pain
though i see the signs flash at me so vividly
like time i still go on
cause its just temporary pain and i will expire
soo lets see where this brings me
im in pain but i am not tired



(small piece i call "where")
where am i?
Im here but not there
though i am here
i am present
in the time were we live in
i am in the moment
so if you ask me where i am
i am where you want me to be
for i am anywhere you are
i am a part of you
as you are a part of me
cause we dont share dna
but we share something and its a common link
143

hello sunshine (day82)

im back and ive had fun
its time to get back to work
and work and focus on the goal
the summer maybe ending soon
but the year isnt done
for this wont die
even though the heat will go away
cause this is more than passion or heart
its a lifestyle and there's nothing more to it
the only thing i can say about it
is that ive gotten to make ties with other
and i see it for what it is and what it isnt
for my future maybe bright but at the moment dim
all we need to do is replace the bulbs or dust them off
and get our old luster back
so keep on trucking and strive harder for this will never die
as we always say "allez en courage"
cause for tomorrow is a chance for another triumph in your own way

montreal (day 81)

the city
the sounds
the signs of life
and a new town
somewthing different
but i have no time
this isnt some fun filled vacation
im running out of time
im only here for just a day
its for business and not for play
i was late so there isn't enough time i can waste
as i run through the city in a panic
i see a few glimpses of something new
a city full of life and my eyes open to it
a new vision for me
i think i can call this home
for this seems like a nice place to nestle
and to relax
but i think my heart is not it yet
for hgome is where the heart is
and my heart is where ever you may be
for i will follow you from coast to coast
as love knows no boundaries
im back and i will wait for you
whenever that may be
for cities may look the same and may differ in time
but you will forever stay the same in my heart and in my mind

(a small piece in call "tucking in"
as you go to bed and slumber
i am here and i start to wonder
what my life would be without you
ans who will i be with you
all i know when i think of this is
life is perfect not as it is
it is only perfect with someone i like
someone i hold dear and i soo care
I care about you.
so close your eyes and good night
sleep well and i will talk to you soon
143 :)

flashbacks??? (days80)

the difference of reality
i see things in a instance
and i tell myself its not real
i see my life in hours but
ive lived it in years
ive gotten a new power
im coming and going
and i never stop moving
im thrown in and out
i can nevber be at peace
i see many faces and recognize them all
they dont welcome me
they haunt me
why am i trapped in a museum of faces
in a parallel dimension of mirrors
why is my face blurred in this dark hall
as i say to myself this is just another journey
i spend it alone but i know you are there with me
so i am at ease and i will keep moving
i am always say even though i know i will always see your face
the flashback in my head can help me though the toughest of time
for you will always be there not only in my mind
but the one that you have always had
its is with you
and you should hold it dear
i know you have and will do as long as i live
i am yours forever you can say that even as you sleep

some light (day 79)

to shed some light into some one's day
is to say you re making a difference today
Ive gotten that and given it back
the day isn't over its simple as that
we can finally say the day is over
till i lay in bed and start to stray
till that time of the day happens i will see to it
that i wont wander
for time is precious and we cant say it isn't
its a shame for those who spend their days in seclusion
so share a smile or move around
the day is young and the night hasn't come
and even if the sun has tucked itself away behind the horizon
another day of promises awaits you and you and you
so don't fret and take each day in a nice pace
dont hurry cause you will put it to waste
this is what i have to say about today so far
the day is not done it just begun

as the day slides intop night
i find myself alone and nobody insight
the silence of these four walls they keep me sane
they wrap me and tell me "its ok"
for today wasnt the best of days
i kept my head high even though i fell down
all we need is to stand up and be proud
and wait for another day to try harder again

confusion(day78)

what will i do now
i am lost
confused and trapped in this world of doors
so many to run to
which one to pick
what lies beneath them
what tom pick
doubt and fear surrounds me and i am conflicted
distraught in time and derailed
for now can i get a decision
or will i i wait again
it seems like you've made an assumption by looking at air
without really getting to stare at me until i am bare
I'm not done talking yet
i just begun
so this is my peace for now
but my thoughts will be voiced out
so we will talk about this later on
to see if we can get a decision
to unlock whats in store for us in the days to follow
for we never are sure how life will pan out for us
but we make the best of it by living each day
as we see every sunshine and every dark lit sky at night
we go into wonder and say
"i think i can make this even better"

getting creative (day77)

ideas visualized
thoughts put into creations...
to brainstorm and to collaborate
think and to picture
originality and aggression
uniqueness and being particular
is it original
has it been done before
who knows
as i look into the depths of my mind
i see many things that ive left behind
there are many things i can imagine off
but i have to be more creative then before
so i have same fresh ideas
and as i try and test them
i will try to think of new ideas
even though im may not be artistic
i will give it my all
cause its not worth anything
if you dont try at all

getting to know (day76)

life is full of strange turns
when you think youve made a wrong turn
you end up going back where you came from
the world is a small place and we are all interconnected
meeting people is always great
whats in a question that makes it soo powerful
whats in an answer that shock us
is it the reality of the question
or is it the gravity of the answer
whatever it is im glad this has happened
am i being me?
should i change?
let me think...
was i?
am i?
will i?
i had...
i am...
i will...
ive always been me and nobody else

Don Luis Angelo @ 21 (day 75)

someone today turned 21
he is close to me and is like blood
im happy for him and he's earned everything in life
times spent together moments that last forever
with the distance that keeps us appart we still are close together
you are like blood and that will always be thicker than water
if you are a friend you are true to your word
soo today we celebrate you and we are all happy
youre finally 21 and theres more of life we need to see
soo when time comes we will see the world all together with the gang
and it will happen sometime soon i dont know not today
maybe tomorrow somehow :)




"happy birthday EL"

undertow (day 74)

theres something here
i can feel its presence
i dont know where it is
but i can feel its near
as i wonder what should i do
and how i can be ready
i feel a strong pull sucking me into the obis
as i fall into the endless pit
i am frozen in time
the water chocking me and leaving me breathless
i am running out of time
so as i take my last breath
and my last will
with all my might i fight for my life
i see it as a sign to keep going strong
not a sign that i should quit and move on
the sun will shine even though i die
so i must tell myself that its not my time
as i reach the bottom of what seemed to be a bottomless pit
i realize that it wasnt all that
so i tell myself if i can survive through all that
i can surely find myself in worse conditions
for i am built strong and will not die
i will not stop without a fight
in this day and age that everyone is equal
i know i can make a difference in my own small ways
even though you dont see it

love lost, relationships brought (day 73)

103 on the same day
it makes me think of you
and makes me wonder
life lost love wondered
relationships were brought
but now you are under
youve nourished us till your final days
and even though youve left you still are felt
the presence forever warm though wrapped in cold
will i ever get to meet
will we ever chat
i know you were perfect you are a part of me
in lines and veins i can draw blood
to draw the line that links the two of us
the relation soo close you need not look twice
the resemblance far in current state thats i can say
so its been years and i dont even have memory
but in stories i hear i can say you were happy
were ever you are i know youre in a great place
soo save me a seat when i see you there
i wouldnt want to miss it for anything else
so i say its not goodbye its hello there
i want to say i love you even though you are not there
so even though my day wasnt as what i expected it to be
the turn out was still great rather than not even trying
soo i will brush off the dirt and shake the pain away
for i am here cause you were there
but i would do anything for you to be there and say
"its ok"



love you grandad
Engr JSP "PEC"

late & losing (day 72)

i am alone when everyone leaves
i run to the hill to see you fly away
to see that plain go away into the distance
i am amazed of the feet i face
the light of the sky emulates me
and i am swallowed by its entity
the faces appear in front of me
and i am set off into a frenzy
for my eyes will no longer see what it wants to see
and i will no longer be forever me
to alter my state is to encompass its actual state
i am frivolous in time gone by
the pain in me as i squeeze it out
its in there deep its in the core
so to all you leaving there will be again
the terminal will be here so long my friend
there might not be a single dry eye
there will be a goodbye
its seems so simple and like it was yesterday
all the yesteryear's are behind us its our desire
so look on forward at the meadow
the field of greens and the seas so mellow
the tops of hills will no longer be a bother
you are over it and beyond all recognition
so till we meet its my pleasure to have known you
its not like i said goodbye forever
i just said "see you later"

going away (day 71)

has it been that long
when did this start
i am leaving and thats that
its not the fact that there are so many comings and goings
its the fact that soo many of us needs to do something
this is for me and i feel i deserve it
i wont deny i think i want to do this
it will be hard for i leave a life i know
but i will soldier on and see things as i go
for a brave man once traveled the world in search for nothing
and ion return came back with something
to have lived is to have tried and i say
i will die trying if i have to
if in your heart you know its true
its etched in your mind and you know that too
for a dream can get you so far in life
the journey will bring to your dream
so saddle up
buckle in and get ready for the ride
it may not be smooth sailing always
but i can manage if you are there
we may hit some rock pot holes or turbulence
minor setbacks that wont stop me
for a dream is stronger than everything else
it fuels me to strive for the best and to keep going
i will not stop i will go on
for dreams holds no bounds and can never be broken
they can be envisioned in so many other moments
time will only tell if the dream has been fulfilled
all i know is i will at least put my all
as we break the seal that the distance as put
i share a moment and get to look
all the times that i have been wrong or right
i might not say it but goodbye
bon voyage
have a safe trip and please do come back
for life will be here when you do
so don't be afraid because the future maybe unclear
be confident that things will be here
for life will continue to grow in your absence
soo get your thing pack up and go.

choice (day 70)

a palindrome
is it something special
or do we make it more of what it really is
are we what we are?
is 76—67+76=143—341+143=444
ge-or-ge
is it cause we see it that way
or is it cause we want to see it that way
is it what it is
or is it what we see it is
freedom is something we should have
or is it given
is it a privilege or a right
im blanking out
and as i enter into a labyrinth
i am blinded by light
the long cascading walls and tight corners freak me
i see a meadow and a new
a red house in the distance
i ask where am i
i try to see if i can talk to the shadows passing me
they are there but not even aware
i am in Maryland
why was i brought here
today maryland and the day before pittsburgh?
is it me or is it something else
this puzzles me
do i have a choice
is it in my hands
as i step towards the house i fall into a hole
a black whole sucking me ansd tugging me elsewhere
am i in the same place
i find myself in a white padded cell
i am alone
it is in my hands
its always been my choice

connections (day 69)

as i awake from another night
i find myself waking up into a dream
is my land dreamland
dreamland is neverand
i float into notingness
suddenly light amongst darkness
its not the sun nor a light bulb
what is it?
where does it come from
i see is a staircase
leading me to another floor
imaging the worst
i see an empty space
ohh wait
alas!
a red door in the distance
a walk way leading me to the door
i am filled with intrigue
and amazed to see what lies beneath
will i be amazed or will surprised
as i walk closer to the door i stop
take a good glance and see its "time"
opening the door my heart beats wildly
all i can see is a boy
vinc[h]enzo is his name
as i stare into his eye i am robbed of my innocence
i find myself trading places with him
the next moment i am in a rail car
on the side of a cliff
where am i?
i am in Pittsburgh
why was i brought here
where should i go
as i see the life before me in true color
i am starting to see the connection of me and this young boy
he is me and i am him
we are one but just not the same
ive gotten lost in my own mind
in time ive come to be so wrong
what happened to me now
as i walk down the road i see signs of you everywhere
is it my mind or is it just you leaving me aimless in wonder
as i walk down the streets it soaks me
i am lost
very lost
will you find me and how will i get back
where is the door im ready to get back out.

contact (day 68)

physical, emotional or mental
a dream is to wish and a wish is fantasy
there are many things to do
to gaze into someones eyes
to share a moment in time
to make things last a life time
to hold someones hand
small gestures like memories
as i float into time and space
i am transfixed in amazment
half awake and half dead
i make my way into the meadow
as i lay into the straw
i look ahead
sprawling nothingness
like a blank canvas i am caught with no response
what will i do with this
where will i go
should i step forward
or float on back
i see an oasis to my right
and to my left the ocean
they invite me
or did i invite myself
:S

mobile & put "hot" in hot springs (day 67)

as i slumber i am awake
i am aware but do not stare
i glance at the moments look at time
i see things ive seen before
and done things ive never have ever
i see houses and phones stationary or in motion
different sizes and shapes
but what i see most vividly are the houses ive been in
and grew up in... or have owned
as the day moves on my journey continues
i seize the day and see the open road.
head on out into the country side
i see you there and everywhere i go
its in a car with 143 NKA plates
or a house address...
as i pass the house i see a sign
i stop on by and get a last minute chance
i pay 50c and get myself a sticker to keep
i can say i brought harrison hot springs back with me
did i have fun?
ohh boy i did have fun :)

i dreamnt of miggy (day 66)

emotionally draining
a vivid dream
was it real
or was it just me
it felt so real
it was like i went back through time
i got to hang o9ut with you again
and then it was time
when we parted i couldnt hold it in
i just had soo much fun
i had to scream
i bursted into tears and this is what i said
"the last time we hung out was years ago"
"we had a great time just like today"
"so please dont go"
he then replied
"dont worry, i wont go anywhere"
to the full knowledge of his words i said
"ok"
i dont know what happened but i slept for 12 or so hours
i was out as a light but i knew i was dreaming
the dream felt so real in most parts or so
my old school, old classmates and even my parents.
when the day was over i was fetched like normal
in the same car i grew up with, with the same maid and driver.
i was happy to revisit the past for some random moment
it felt like i was rewriting it but i knew I couldnt
so i said in my one last breath before i decided to wake up
"goodbye miggy my best friend"
i said goodbye to his parents who were there as always
i gave them a hug turned around and walked away, got in the car
then i woke up with so much dismay
my heart was throbbing
my emotions were high
and i knew i had to write this
one things for sure i miss my bestfriend miggy
we are friends and will always be...
heres to you miggy you are the best
:)